


Fuinjutsu sounded good at the time.

by Nameha



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Jutsu Gone Wrong, M/M, Marriage ceremony, Oneshot, baby Shisui - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nameha/pseuds/Nameha
Summary: Tobirama finds himself in a comical predicament, involving a new jutsu, right before his wedding ceremony. Kagami, of course, is no help at all.
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Kagami
Comments: 7
Kudos: 120





	Fuinjutsu sounded good at the time.

“For the last time, Kagami, the answer is no.” Tobirama spares a glance, over his horn-rimmed glasses, to Kagami, who’s standing on the other side of the desk near the door. Shisui propped on his hip.

“Come on, Tobira, it’ll be cute!”  
“It will be,” Tobirama sighs, “A good way for the ceremony to end in flames.”

Kagami huffs as he bounces a smiling Shisui, the rubber kunai in his hand toggling.

“I won’t give up you know!” Kagami grins with a wink, “I still have half a day to convince you!”

“Mhm.” Tobirama hums non committedly in response.  
—  
Kagami’s gone, for a clan meeting, until late afternoon. Tobirama has time for one experiment before the ceremony starts at six. He rolls his eyes at the thought of it, the ceremony. If it wasn’t for his overzealous brother, prying into his business, and the equally obnoxious Uchiha clan head, shouting about tradition and thereof, then he wouldn’t even have to suffer through it. 

But, contrary to popular belief, he is a man of honor.

He’s sitting cross legged in the living room, back against the couch, a large sealing banner laid out in front of him. The intricate swirls of ink are hypnotic. He hums as he carefully finishes the details.  
The chakra infused ink dries rapidly, nearly on contact. An error could be fatal, or end, in what Tobirama thinks is worse, failure. He admires his work with a smirk, what a clever jutsu indeed.

The Yamanaka may think they hold a monopoly on the mind transfer jutsu. But for Tobirama, their secrecy is an annoyance at best. Nothing he couldn’t replicate, or improve upon, without some concentration.

The sound of scamping feet draws his wandering mind back to the present. He quirks an eyebrow at the owner of said feet, paint brush still in hand.

“Look what I learned!” Shisui beams as he folds his fingers into a seal. Tobirama’s eyes widen when he feels the spark of chakra ignite.

“Shisui! Don’t!” Tobirama yells, scrambling up to snatch Shisui off the seal’s central swirl.

But it’s too late, a blue light explodes. It’s all white then the world goes dark.  
—  
“I’m home!” Kagami calls as he shuts the door behind him, slipping off his sandals.

“They still want us to get a divorce!” Kagami laughs but stops when he doesn’t hear a response.

He stands at the threshold. It’s awfully quiet. Too quiet. Suspicious even. Sure, Shisui is by no means a loud child but Tobirama should have welcomed him back and Shisui should have come running by now.

“Tobirama?” Kagami peeks into the room nearest the door, the study, but it’s empty.

“Shisui?” Kagami wanders into the kitchen next.

“Huh, I wonder…where they went.” Kagami taps his chin in thought as he continues his search.

He finally makes his way into the living room where his heart melts. Tobirama is sprawled half on, half off, the couch with Shisui tucked close to his chest. They’re, what looks to be, sound asleep and Kagami giggles in delight as he closes the distance. He has half a mind to activate the Sharingan to keep the moment, wholly and fully. But he thinks better of it, Tobirama isn’t partial to being woken up via Sharingan. He’s had to learn that one the hard way.

He gently picks Shisui up, kissing the crown of curls and kneeling down to Tobirama to nudge his shoulder.

“Tobira, hey, wake up. We have to start getting ready, we only have a couple hours.”

Tobirama’s eyes flutter for a moment before opening. He gazes at Kagami sleepily before he yawns.

“Daddy?”

Kagami’s face turns beet red as he sputters, rearing up to hold Shisui close. His eyes wide as he tries to choke out a response.

“To-Tobira! in front of the baby?! N-Not that I mind, I actually don’t mind at all, if you know…you ever want to switch things up. I really like the wa–”

“Kagami?”

Kagami snaps his attention to Shisui, whose scowling at him with his arms folded and eyebrows pinched together.

“S-Shisui…?! N-No, no, you’re not supposed to call me by my name until you’re like…30! you’re growing up too fast!” Kagami blubbers as he smothers Shisui, rubbing their cheeks together. Shisui wedges his fingers between them, pushing back against Kagami to provide distance.

“Shisui noo! Let me love you, please!”  
“Kagami! Enough! It’s me, Tobirama.”

Kagami sniffles and holds Shisui out in front of him. Blinking back the tears to stare at Shisui, er, well, at Tobirama.

Kagami’s brain stops functioning in any capacity, opting to look between his baby in his arms and his husband who's sitting fully on the couch looking up at him inquisitively with a smile so out of place on the face of said husband. 

“If you’re….then…that means…he’s…if you’re…” Kagami’s eyes widen as he faces Tobirama, er, Shisui on the couch. Putting a hand on his cheek before turning his fully activated Sharingan, and his wrath on Shisui, er, Tobirama.

“What did you do to _my_ baby!” Kagami half shouts, half gurgles, as he gives Tobirama a light shake. Careful of the body he’s occupying.

Tobirama frowns, the expression strange and concerning on Shisui’s face. 

“ _Our_ son stepped on a seal and activated it. Quite impressive he has enough chakra control to perform such a jutsu nevertheless he did so successfully on the first attempt.”

Kagami beams at the praise, feeling proud of Shisui but he quickly snaps out of his reverie.

“I-Is this permanent? What kind of jutsu is this? Is it going to wear off?”  
“Settle down, Kagami. The jutsu is an imitation of the Yamanaka’s mind transfer. It's timed by chakra tether.”  
“What…does that even mean?!”  
“When the chakra in the seal runs out, the jutsu will reverse. It’s simple.”  
“Simple….you think…this is simple? Tobirama! Our son is in your body and the ceremony starts in two hours!”  
“A minor inconvenience.”

Kagami hangs his head, minor inconvenience his ass. A minor inconvenience would be if the robes were wrinkled or mixed up.

Kagami’s eyes widened with the thought, oh, he could use this. A sly grin spreads across his face and Tobirama scrunches up his nose. He knows that grin, it’s mischievous and suggests misfortune.

“Shisui, baby, do you wanna play dress up?”  
“Yes! Like a game?”  
“Of course!”

Tobirama’s eyes narrow at Kagami, who simply taps his nose with malicious delight.

“Kagami, on the graves of my ancestors I swear–.”  
“Shh, shh, babies don’t talk like that. You don’t want to raise suspicion and have the clans thinking you were trying to get out of the ceremony, do you?”  
“The others are wrong in their assumption that you are less conniving then I.”

Kagami smiles in response, pulling Shisui up from the couch and leading them all into the bathroom.

He sits Tobirama on a ledge in the bath, it’s much too deep for the body he’s in now. While Shisui takes a seat in the deeper end. Kagami washes their hair while he hums.

“We can let the jutsu run its course then have the ceremony.”  
“No such luck, husband.”

Kagami winks as he dries them off and flints to the next room. Tobirama forms a seal to try and release the jutsu prematurely but this body doesn’t have the chakra for it. He sighs.

“You look like me!”

Tobirama turns his attention to Shisui, encased in his body. That’s right, he may not have the chakra but Shisui does.

“Shisui, form this seal and channel your chakra.”  
“Like this?”  
“Yes, that’s good. Now focus your chakra an–”  
“Ha!”

A wall of water manifests and Tobirama can do little more than scamper away on legs that are too small. He’s hit with it anyways, water fills his lungs as he chokes. This is bad, if he drowns then he’ll surely perish and Shisui, when the jutsu has run its course, will as well. Kagami without any uncertainty will be livid.

He fights against the water when he’s plucked up from the jutsu with ease, he coughs as his back is patted.

“Hey, quick question, what the fuck are you doing?” Kagami whispers as Tobirama blinks up at him.

“Daddy!” Shisui wails, coming to cling to Kagami and subsequently smother Tobirama in the process.

“Trying…to…release the jutsu…”  
“Well don’t. Because if anything happens to Shisui while you’re in his body, then I swear on my ancestors…” Kagami cracks his eyes open to reveal his Mankekyou and Tobirama shrinks back with a pout.

“Now! Let’s all get dressed!” Kagami whoops and Shisui claps, the incident forgotten about, save for the water now soaked into the wood that will surely warp.

“Ah! So handsome!” Kagami swoons as he fixes Shisui’s Kimono. A black Juban Kimono with a deep navy Haori overtop, the Uchiha clan crest sewed into the back.

“Kagami…” Tobirama hisses from his place near Kagami’s legs, he’s clad in a much smaller version of the Kimono Shisui wears. Kagami, however, is sporting the Senju counterpart. It’s unheard of, crude even, for them to be wearing the other clans traditional attire.

“You look so good in Uchiha colors, husband. Don’t you agree?” Kagami chuckles as he pulls on his own Haori, the Senju crest stark against the cream color of the Haori.

“I think this color suits me too, don’t you think?” Kagami winks and Tobirama isn’t ready to admit that Kagami is right. He holds on to his disdain for a while longer.

“Madara is going to have a fit.”  
“Your brother will keep him from burning the place down.”  
“You should hope for as much.”

Tobirama sneers as Kagami snatches him from the ground and holds him on his hip, he rolls his eyes, Kagami shouldn’t coddle Shisui so much. But it does feel nice to be held.

“Okay, let’s go!”

Kagami takes Shisui’s hand and they head out into the village together. The Village itself is bustling, everyone running around preparing for the ceremony. Even though, technically, Tobirama and Kagami had been married for around five years, their union came to light only last week. Hashirama was dumbfounded and Madara was furious.

The Uchiha had tried to get a divorce granted on the grounds that the clan heads weren’t informed and the Uchiha didn’t give consent for a member of the clan to marry. But that had little effect on the Daimyo who married them. He was notorious for not giving divorces unless one party was in immediate danger.

With no way around the marriage, Madara took it upon himself to thrust tradition upon them. A full wedding ceremony, born out of spite for the younger Senju.

“This is not a good idea, Kagami.” Tobirama hisses and Kagami hums, he can feel everyone’s eyes on them as they make their way to the stage.

“Um, are they supposed to swap outfits?”  
“No, Sage above, have the clan heads seen them yet?”  
“Judging by the way the venue isn’t in flames, Madara definitely hasn’t.”  
“I really don’t want to stick around for that.”  
“Coward. Are you Senju or not?”

Shisui glances around, no doubt the intensity of his sensor abilities a burden. Kagami gently brushes their hands together so Shisui doesn’t get overwhelmed.

“Just focus on me, okay Shisui?”  
“Okay!” Shisui smiles and Kagami can feel his heart melt, maybe he can try to get Tobirama to smile like that when they switch back.

“It’ll be fine, Tobirama, just as long as no one comes up to u–”  
“TOBIRA!”

Kagami flinches at the booming voice from the crowd, Hashirama.

“O-oh no.” Kagami curls over Tobirama, he really hadn’t thought this through, neither of them had. Hashirama was sure to cause a scene, it doesn’t help that Shisui has disappeared from his side entirely.

“Hashi!” Shisui runs up to Hashirama to tackle him in a hug, Hashirama stumbles back blinking owlishly at his brother whose limbs are all wrapped up in his.

Hashirama grins, a blinding display of teeth before he picks his brother up and swings him once. Incredibly excited at his brother's unusual display of affection, maybe marriage has changed his prickly ways.

“What the fuck are you wearing Senju?!” Madara shouts, coming to stand by Hashirama. Shisui untangles himself from Hashirama to redirect his affections at Madara who goes ramrod straight when he’s hugged.

“Madara!” Shisui curls into the older Uchiha who can only sputter. Chakra flaring like a wildfire. Hashirama slaps Madara on the back with a laugh that sounds more like a bark.

“Look at that Madara! Tobira likes you too! Isn’t this grand!”  
“Hashirama, get your bastard of a brother off me!” 

Kagami comes running up, Tobirama bouncing in his arms. Tobirama looks less than pleased as Hashirama pulls his body off a fuming Madara.

“Kagami!” Hashirama turns his attention to his brother in law and Kagami smiles. He shouldn’t find this scene as funny as he does, he has to stifle a laugh as Tobirama pulls at his ear.

“Kagami, you brat! This was all your idea wasn’t it! wha- Change or I will burn that Haori from your back!!” Madara rears up to spit fire when a freshly sprouted branch cuts off Madara’s rampage quickly. Efficiently weaving it’s way up his body to immobilize him. Madara’s scream is muffled by the thick tendril of wood.

“Don’t mind him! He’s just as excited as I am! Oh nephew! Let me hold him for you, Kagami! It’s about to start!” Hashirama makes grabby hands for Tobirama who frowns and pulls away, Hashirama looks ready to deflate.

“Um, he’s a bit cranky! y-yeah! That’s it! He was sleeping when I came home so I woke him from a nap! Come on _Shisui_ Go to uncle Hashi nicely okay?”

Tobirama looks mortified, glowering at Kagami through thick Uchiha lashes but the smile on Kagami’s face holds the promise of a fate worse than death if he doesn’t comply.

He holds out his arms for Hashirama to take him. Hashirama’s upright in an instant, a mega watt smile plastered on his face as he takes Tobirama into his arms and coos at him.

“You two better get up there, the music is starting!”

The beat of the drum snaps Kagami out of his stupor; he grabs Shisui’s hand and scurries up to the stage. There’s an audible gasp from the crowd as the two walk center stage in the other clans garb. The Uchiha are furious, shouting and snarling that Tobirama is baring their crest while they have a few choice names for Kagami. The Senju are distrubed but do their best to remain polite, eyes darting to their clan head for answers.

Hashirama is too busy with his nephew to pay them any mind. Madara finally frees himself from Hashirama’s entrapment. He’s naturally livid but when he sees the littlest Uchiha, in Hashirama’s arms, his demeanor changes.

“Give him to me, Hashirama, he likes me more anyways.” Madara tugs at Tobirama in an effort to get Hashirama to requilish the baby. Tobirama scowls at Madara whose jaw drops. Shisui had always had a profound soft spot for Madara. This day could not get any worse for him.

Kagami shoots Tobirama a look from the stage and Tobirama glares back, allowing Madara to hold him.

“Smile for me, Shisui, come on.” Madara pleads as he rocks Tobirama back and forth, Hashirama is laughing at Madara’s desperation and that actually earns a smile from Tobirama.

“See! Hashirama! He likes me more!” Madara sniffs, proudly, holding Tobirama close to him and Tobirama can do little in the way to fight for distance.

Tobirama has to watch as his body double goes through the ceremony in his stead. The cups of sake passed between them as they drink with arms interlaced. Kagami is quietly coaching Shisui through the movements, acting as if it was all a grand game of stealth and prowess. Shisui has picked up the mannerisms quite well, though the smile that he bares throughout the ceremony has the crowd concerned. 

“I didn’t think smiling would actually make Tobirama look even more menacing.”  
“Yeah, it’s scary to see.”  
“I actually think he looks better with a smile.”  
“Don’t let Kagami catch you saying that.”  
“Or Izuna.”

Madara shoots the disrupters a glare and they quietly go back to watching the ceremony. Hashirama is sniffling by Madara, dabbing his eyes with a little cloth and Madara has to stop himself from setting everything on fire. Content with the fact he has to hold a baby, there isn’t much he can do in the way of absolute decimation.

“You may now seal your union.”

Kagami’s eyes widen, he can’t kiss his son, not like that. He opts to kiss Shisui on the cheek, who giggles and kisses Kagami on the cheek back.

The crowd grows restless at the display. That’s not how the seal is supposed to go. They’re making a mockery of the whole ritual. First they’re not in the appropriate attire and now this? Did they not want to be married, was this all some elaborate scheme thought up by the white devil?

Kagami smiles at the crowd's agitation.

“Ah, I missed!” Kagami jokes but no one laughs, he goes for another kiss and it ends the same way, on the cheek.

“What the hell is that brat doing!” Madara snarls, bristling, as he bounces Tobirama.

“Maybe he’s just shy?”  
“Shy is not a word I would use to describe Kagami, Hashirama, he married your brother in secret and had a child prior. Kagami is the complete opposite of shy. He’s the definition of shameless. Both of them are.”  
“Oh come on, Madara. You can level battle fields but you can’t even pee if someone’s watching you!”  
“Hashirama! You stupid tree! That’s not even relevant!”

Tobirama smirks at the tidbit of information, that’ll come in handy later he’s sure of it.

“Stop fucking around, Kagami! I’ve had enough! You disrespectful blood traior!” Izuna’s voice breaks over the crowd and Kagami’s eyes snap towards him, Izuna’s fury unmatched. He was the last to know of this particular union and he was far angrier than his brother. If Madara wouldn’t burn down this sham of a “wedding” then he would.

Izuna begins to stomp to the stage when a vine wraps around his ankle, dragging him back. Izuna hacks at the intrusive flora with his blade. Growing, if possible, even more enraged. The Uchiha heir is secured tightly, blade dropped in his struggle against the vines.

Hashirama smiles and motions for the ceremony to continue while Madara sighs.

“Uchiha Kagami, will you please seal the union.” The officiate drawls, clearly annoyed at the spectacle he was forced to conduct at the request of the Hokages.

“O-Of course, definitely.” Kagami swallows, maybe this was a mistake on his end.

Tobirama can feel a shift in his chakra, something snap and pull. It happens suddenly, nearly too fast to register as he’s shunted from one body to another.

He hadn’t realized just how impressive his sensor ability was until he was in a body where he could only feel those nearest him. But now the world is a shifting sea of fire. He squints to adjust, honing in on the only signature that matters. Kagami.

Kagami turns to him, concern and despair etched into the lines of his eyes. He has no idea the jutsu has run its course, he still believes it’s Shisui standing in front of him. Tobirama cuts his eyes to the side, where his son is playing in Madara’s and Hashirama’s hair, weaving them together as the two coo over him. Izuna still tangled up and screaming.

“Husband….” Kagami’s voice wobbles as he steels himself, praying inwardly that Izuna gets free and burns the place down before he can do something so vile.

Tobirama grabs him, firmly, by both arms pulling him flush against his chest as he looms over him.

“Husband.” Tobirama says, a smile with too may teeth to be friendly. Kagami’s eyes widen, he realizes just how big the mistake he’s made is.

“T..Tobir–”  
“Of course.”

Tobirama crashes their lips together, pulling Kagami up onto his tiptoes. They pull away, Kagami’s dazed and dreamily eyes struggling to focus.

“You’ll pay for this later.” Tobirama hissed as he kissed him again, harder this time and the officiate can do no more than stand there scandalized.

“I-I should hope for as much.” Kagami keens into the kiss, gripping at the navy Haori on Tobirama’s shoulders, pulling himself impossibly close.

“Oh wow!” Hashirama laughs nervously, the only sound among the dead silent crowd.

“Didn’t I tell you, Hashirama, absolutely shameless.” Madara clicks his tongue in displeasure, nose turned up at the brazen display.  


Izuna’s still screaming.


End file.
